The hunting dog

Before I start the blog I'll tell you a story about my dog. My dog is a German Pointer or in layman's terms a "bird" dog. I've been researching her breed a lot lately and learned that she is bred for hunting. If you take her out hunting she spots the "prey" that she's been trained to find she points to it, lifts one front paw, and stares at it so that the hunter can then shoot whatever it is. Well, last night one of my roommates grandparents came over immediately saw missy and said oh goodness do you hunt with her? I said eh no, i haven't ever really been hunting, and i dont know if missy would be into that sort of thing. Oh they were like no no that is her natural instinct you have to take that dog hunting and after 30 min. of discussing how she MUST HUNT. i finally relented and said ok i'll marry a man who hunts and i'll make sure he takes her, we all laughed. This morning missy is sitting right next to me on the couch having a dream. Her little hind feet are kicking away her mouth gets curled up in a snarl and then she starts kicking again. I sat down and thought my goodness she is a natural hunter she even does it in her sleep. This now makes sense why we kept finding dead pigeons all in our back yard last semester, dang dog was killing em'.
So the people i know that are hunters are the rossow's, but all they do is deer hunting, maybe i'll find someone who knows a thing or two about bird hunting and get them to teach her or something... who knows...
I've had some great intimate time w/ the Lord in the last week, going up to LIHOP and just worshiping and praying. I've messed up and had to confess up but have found some great liberation in the forgiveness of those around me as i've had to humble myself and apologize. I've really been thinking about living in the Spirit lately and what that truly means, obviously that means living out the fruits of the spirit, but i heard it put this way the other day.
A man was talking on the radio as i got in the car and he was talking about living in the spirit. He said what the Holy Spirit wants to truly do in you is get to the point where there is none of you and then He can talk through you, walk through you, and live through you, so in reality it's no longer even you. It's simply Jesus in your flesh.
Oh i've heard the scriptures Galations 2:20 it's no longer I who lives but Christ who lives in me, 2 Cor. 5:15 He died for those that lived so that they could no longer live for themselves but for Him, Col. 3:3 for you have died and your life is hidden with Christ.
We all have heard them, but I hadn't really had a revelation of that. Obviously I struggle w/ that because I still see how I sin. I still see that so much of me does live. I relate more w/ the likes of Romans 7 when paul is saying i do the things i dont want to do, and the things i want to do i don't do. He lays out a great picture of our battle with our flesh. I understand that way more than i understand, i no longer live, but Christ in me!
I see the pride in even this thought though. Because if i were to say that it is not true, this Christ in me theory, then i would have to say not only do i do the bad i do, but i do the good. And who am i to take credit for what the Lord has done through my life?
The goal of my life is to see less and less of Jessika every day. Not diminishing the character that God has placed in me, my personality, but less and less of my fleshly person. The less I become the more the Spirit can move and work through me. The more this temple for the Spirit, this body, can be used to be the hands and feet of Jesus Christ.
I see it. I have been crucified with Christ it is no longer I who lives, but He who lives in me. In other words, i laid down me, I willingly gave it all up, all my wants, all my desires, even all my needs, i sat bare and naked before the Lord with nothing and said take this body and use it for Your glory. Speak through me, move through me, walk through me, all for You.
I was told by my youth pastor over and over again in highschool. Jessika the hardest thing you will ever learn is balance. My goodness how those words have proven to be true over and over again in my life. I struggle for balance because when i do something i do it wholeheartedly. If i put my heart into it there is no stopping until it is accomplished. This is many times a GREAT THING, but it i has proven to be difficult because God is not always a God of the immediate, many times He is the God of the process! When i have that vision or desire He gives me, I WANT IT NOW, and i go out looking for it, many times in my own flesh and will rather than His. Then i begin reasoning the things I heard from God because i'm not seeing immediate action from them. I am reading battlefield of the mind by joyce meyer and i just read a couple of days ago where she said "Satan uses reasoning to strip the will of God from us" basically if we begin to reason and try and figure out what God has told us, many times we stop believing it, because we can't figure it out in our own heads.... that hit me....
I digress, back to the point, if my desire is to give glory to God with my life, the only thing I can do is to willingly submit this life to Him. Lay it down, crucify it, and allow the Holy Spirit to take over the reigns, to run the controls...
Now for you other overachievers, go getters, bascially impatient people... it's a process.
This dying to myself is a journey. It's praying the way david prayed, asking God to reveal sin, hearing the Holy Spirit as He reveals it to you, and then rebuking it, repenting from it, and leaving it in the dust. And with each fleshly character, you give the Holy Spirit more and more room to work through you. . .
This life is fun. Let it be.
Be blessed,
J. Tate