Isn't it exciting when God begins to teach you things and an hour, one day, or some relatively quick amount of time later you get this great opportunity to practice what you've learned. God uses life to teach us, to test our faith, to prevent greater disaster later in life, to make us more like Jesus, etc.
I learn so much from my friends as we experience life together and share in the journey of following Christ.
I was talking to my best friend that lives over in the Dallas area over a week ago now. She is attending grad school at UNT and was looking for a place to live in Denton. Most of you know Kayce and if you read my blog at all you've found out God uses her a lot in my life. She'll say one line in a story that will stick out to me, i'll write it down in my journal, and somehow I will need just that specific phrase in my journey. This happened sometime this past week.
Kayce was looking for a place to live in Denton as she prepares to move closer to her school. The whole story is a really awesome story of God's love and favor for His daughter, but I'm going to stick to the details that display what I want to talk about. As Kayce goes in to a garage apartment her realtor was sure she would love, she was, to say the least a little disappointed. It was nothing like what she wanted and didn't really fit kayce's adorable old fashioned little style. :) When she left she begin to talk to the Lord about it. She remembered something the Lord had been teaching her. I'm not a beggar. I'm a Daughter. She told God that she knew God's infinite resources and that she knew that He could give her something better. I LOVE WHAT SHE TOLD HIM! (her words summed up) "God it's not my favorite, I know that you have the ability to do better, I dont have to beg of You for more, but no matter what Your will, not mine, and if this is what you want for me, ok."
In most cases I'm not too much of a talker and I'm more of a listener, so as Kayce is telling me the story and I hear the words "i'm not a beggar I'm a daughter" I let her continue on with the story as I just wrote the words down, and made a mental note to pray through that a little later.
As I thought and prayed about it later, I realized how little I live into this concept. I "know" it. I've heard it similarly put 100 million times in church, but this is how we know there is a complete difference in head knowledge and heart wisdom. I'll simply throw a request up at the Lord and then continue to try and find my own way to meet my need, if I take the time to ask of the Father at all.
James 4:2 "You have not because you ask not"
I think about my own natural father. Though we've been through many rough things when I need something of him I simply go to him in confidence and ask. Many times when asking for money, I'll go up to him with my hand already out, laughing, as I say "daddy, money?" I know my dad. I know that my dad has money and I know that what he has, is also mine. I'm his daughter. Any need that my dad can meet for me, he will do. He'll never leave me stranded, he'd never say psshhh you've never helped me, he won't turn his back on me. My Daddy loves me. I'm his daughter.
Imagine as we take this to the scale of me and my Daddy, my Heavenly Father. Anything I could have need of my Daddy God can meet that need. His resources are limitless, His mercy never ending, His grace unfailing, His willingness and desire to show His love through me is in His innate character.
(I hope those of you that know me, know me well enough to know, that I am not talking about God giving you everything you "want". I'm not talking about this in areas of lust and greed or pride. I'm simply talking about the heart of our Father to fulfill all your needs)
Matthew 7:11 So if you who are evil know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good things to those who keep on asking him!
Here we see this again. The first thing we must note is He wants us to ask. It's all throughout matthew 7. I could quote the entire chapter here, if you don't know it, go read it. Ask and you shall receive... over and over again. God wants us to inquire of Him and Him alone. This is where I pinpointed my lack of faith.
I'm not a beggar, I'm a daughter. As I walk up to my earthly Father I don't say Dad I need $30 to get my oil changed, ok now I'm going to go scrounge around the house to see if I can find $30 or where is my debit card, so that I can go pay for it myself. I go to my Dad, I ask him, and I wait. I wait until Dad pulls his wallet out. As I ask of my Heavenly Father I do not wait upon Him with the same faith, the same confidence, the same trust. Ok God here is my prayer request, well you may or may not help me out so i better go see what I can do just in case You don't come through. It sounds laughable doesn't it? That I trust Randy Tate to provide for me more than I trust God? Perhaps, but I have to confess, that many times, it's true.
Soon after I was convicted and learned this lesson. I simply began to make more conscious decisions to pray specifically for my needs. I was already reading a book by Andrew Murray titled "Waiting on God", so I incorporated that in and began to wait to hear the voice of my Father before taking actions. Then the test came.
I had a situation come up that really challenged me. It confused me. It messed with the plans I thought the Lord had given me and there seemed to be no natural way of resolving the situation. After one round of tears, i sat up, and remembered. I'm not a beggar, I'm a daughter.
I don't come to the table crawling not making eye contact whispering self consciously my requests of my Father. I come BOLDLY to the throne room of GRACE, stating my needs, and asking of my DADDY GOD, who DESIRES to meet my needs. I got in my car went for a little drive and said Lord, here it is, this is what I'm feeling, this is what I need, I'm not going to panic, I'm not going to have a break down, I'm going to wait here until you fix this situation or You give me confirmation that this is your will. Not my will but Yours. I called a few close friends let them in on the situation to have them praying with me and within 3 hours half of the matter was resolved and by the end of the weekend all of it was.
My God knows my needs and He desires to meet them. He can and He will. If we ask, if we have faith, and if sometimes we'll take our hands off. I like this line from the Jason Upton song Teach me How to Pray:
Not my will or my plans or the way I want it I’m so tired of my hands in the way So reveal to these eyes the true heart of my Father, today
Lord teach me how to pray
Kayce and I talked again and she told me some things the Lord was teaching her about not being a beggar. After the garage apartment she didn't like (amazing story details not mentioned) she got a little cottage that she LOVED. She told me how the enemy tried to attack her throughout the process. Different thoughts of you're never going to get any better than this so just settle for it, or you don't deserve this, but she said something very wise at the end
"I realized the enemy didn't care what I believed, as long as I never realized that I'm a daughter"
How true that statement is. We bounce from one side to the other, I don't deserve this, I guess I should settle for this, God won't help me with this because i've done this and this, ... We could wall paper the walls of the white house in 8pt font with the lies the enemy tries to sell us. The one thing he wants to make sure you don't realize is YOU ARE A DAUGHTER. or for you men it applies as well, YOU ARE A SON! Jesus Christ tempted and tried, spotless, blameless, sinless, died a horrific death, displayed on a cross for all to shame and humiliate him, with pain beyond my imagination, blood poured out, so that WE, could be fellow heirs. Sons and Daughters of the most High. The true Son, crucified, for YOU, so that you can be called daughter or son. Live into what Jesus paid for. He paid for your ability to pray, to go to heaven, to live as a child of the Most High.
I'm not a Beggar, I'm a Daughter.