I am so thankful that God continues to be faithful even when I am faithless. (2 Tim 2:13)
I consider my trust worthiness. Am I woman of God who carries myself with integrity, morals, truth, love, respect, etc. When I tell someone I'll do something do I do it? When I'm asked to pray for someone do I follow through or lie and say I'll pray without ever giving it a second thought? Do the people who matter the most in my life know it? Am I the same person in my home that I am at my church, am I the same person in front of my friends as I am in front of my pastors? Am I the same person at work that I am on the mission field?
I want to be faithful. I want to be trust worthy. I want to have integrity and earn respect. I want to be an example of love.
I want to be real.
Many times I've failed, I've fallen, I've not met the standard, many times I come up short. I am not always the person I want to be, could be, or should be.
Maybe that's why I'm so thankful for God's character of faithfulness. He's never failed, fallen, or come up short. He's never broken my trust, disappointed me or let me down. His love and faithfulness to His word are not conditional. He's the same God in my closet as He is in corporate worship. He speaks to me the same amount on the job as He does in a church service. He protects and provides as much in my day to day as He does when I'm in Africa. He's the same God, unchanging, consistently perfect since before the beginning of time and for all eternity.
So, when I say God I trust you, I pray my actions follow the words. I know that you are trust worthy, I know who You are, I know that You have proven yourself time and again and will continue to even through my doubts, but I pray that my words will lead to actions.
I pray that where you lead I follow, I pray that when things feel rough I'll know who stands by my side, I pray that when the future seems unclear and hazy I remember who orders my steps and has plans to prosper me and not harm me, I pray that when I begin to sink I remember how you lifted peter out of the water, when I'm persecuted I remember how you rescued Paul, when I'm confused I remember who knows everything, God I pray I simply remember that I trust You and through it all teach me to be like You.