I'm on day 5 of no tv, no movies, no secular music and i've almost completed my 2nd week of studying through the Word what it means to seek God diligently.
So of course it's now time for confession lol. This is what I has been revealed about myself, something I perhaps have long known, but only recently really taken seriously. I often find myself in a place where I am more passionate about doing "ministry" than I am about loving God.
I enjoy the ministry that God has allowed me to do, starting all the way back in highschool... with starting a club, leader in youth group, on in to college doing Wesley, Encounter God, leadership teams, camp counselor, ministry teams, trailer park ministry, starting 24/7 prayer, being on staff at LIHOP, being a youth minister, young life, mission work,teaching the Word, etc . . . as many of you reading this could also make a resume' out of just simply ministry. I love it.
Perhaps I love it to the point that I would be willing to do it even if God didn't show up.
As I've spent these last two weeks waking up at 4:30a.m. to meet w/ God, to seek Him, to find Him, I've found out more and more each day, that... I love Him.
My every day should be about Him and my love for Him, He is the REWARD... It's not what He'll do for me, or in this case what He'll do through me, it's all about Him. Because of who God is the ministry will follow, but at no point should I be pursuing ministry and loving ministry more than I'm loving God.
If I'm never able to touch another life, if I'm never able to prepare another sermon, if I never lay hands on another and see them healed, if my forever was just me and God, I would be satisfied.
Praise God that I have the rest of this life spending time w/ Him and doing those things, but I still want to so diligently seek God that I get to know as much about who He is as I possibly can while in this lifetime. Thank God He's allowed me to find things that I love to do and He allows me to be apart... and may it never be me doing what I love and allowing Him to be apart.
He is it. He is the sole purpose, my reason, my reward, my Daddy God, nothing and no one shall take His place. He is the one true God who commands to be first place in my life and that nothing shall take precedence over Him.
I pray that love sheds abroad in our hearts and abounds strongly, that God will have His rightful place as Lord of our lives.