WOW... what a week!?!
I want to take some time to go through some emotions and events of this week in a desire to share praise to God, to ask for some prayer support in several areas, and because I'm writer and this is what I do :) Try to stick it out to the end.
Let's start out with the past weekend as I give a few details on a battle that I'm fighting physically this week and ask for your prayer in this battle. Sunday night I split a sermon with one of my best friends, he did his half of the sermon, and as I was giving my part... I began to feel something weird in my body. When I wrapped up the message, hugged some necks, etc. I went straight to my Pastor's wife (who acts as a 2nd mother in my life) and told her my body didn't feel right. With some prayer and medicine I went home. By Monday I had a terrible headache, diarea, vomiting, and a fever that got up to 103.5. On Tuesday I woke up with a low fever and my throat so swollen and hurting that I could not get pills down to take for the headache. By Wednesday I was feeling well enough to go to work and then Thursday I woke up with a fever again, a rash all over my body, and the returning headache and swollen throat. Needless to say my stubborn self finally went to the doctor. My symptoms have been all over the place and I'm continuing a battle of not feeling 100%. I have a little over a week for some other issues I'm having in my body to leave or my physician is making me go to a neurologist. Please pray for healing in my body. It has been a week since I've been able to workout and obviously that in and of itself is frustrating for me when I workout 1-2x a day usually!
Battling sickness was not exactly something I wanted to do as I also found out disappointing news this week about going to Japan. Let me say this. It is a difficult process to communicate with people in other countries and try to coordinate plans, it's often a slow process that requires patience, but more than anything trust that you are doing what God wants you to do and that He will direct your steps. If you read this blog often you know that being a teacher was not my choice job for this year (feelings have changed) but I encouraged myself throughout the year by telling myself Jessika this is the best job to enable you to do what you really want to do! Be in ministry and travel the world telling people about Jesus. As a teacher every weekend is open, hardly ever events on Wednesday nights, and summer is free to travel the world. So as it got to be time to start planning for my summer (yes i began early because of eagerness) I just thought of the places that were on my heart and began exploring options.... Well I'm now at 4 failed attempts of planning trips for this summer... After hearing about Japan this week... I'm having to take some long hard looks at myself and in prayer. Yes, in humbleness I admit that I was trying to make it happen. I was trying to pick where I'd go and what I'd do. I was going to make sure that I created an opportunity for me to go and be a light to minister about "what's His name again?"... hopefully you can catch on to the sarcasm of my own failure, but that's what I had done. I was so busy trying to make a way for me to go share the love of my Jesus that I didn't take as much time as I should have asking Jesus what He wanted me to do. So here I am. 3 1/2 weeks of school left and I don't know where I'll go this summer or honestly if I go and now I know that wherever/whenever I go or stay I'll be a missionary, because it's not about going that makes us missionaries, it's about knowing. I'm a missionary because I know Jesus, that is part of who we are as Christians, sharing the love of Jesus. In America and/or abroad. Pray with me about my summer plans, that I will stay out of them... :)
MAEGAN IS GOING TO BOTSWANA. Yesterday, Maegan left for Bots. I am so excited for her. LBOM was an awesome experience for me and I know it will be for her as well. Maegan has felt the calling to be an African missionary since she was 12 years old. Last year I was blessed to get to go with her for her first time to go to Africa. Maegan was in her element. As we walked down the dirt roads of Rwanda young children flocked to Maegan (admittedly not me lol) and she would hand them smarty's pick them up, kiss on them, love on them, and tear up as we'd leave them. Maegan's heart is for Africa. That is why I can be so excited as I watch her leave to spend 3 months in Botswana. Love Botswana Ministries has a school, orphanage, church, outreach programs, widows program, etc... Maegan will have every opportunity to use her gifts and passions as she spends 3 months helping out an amazing ministry that has greatly impacted the country of Botswana.
Let me share something AWESOME about this week. I had been hearing a lot about a local youth group and the passion and growth they had been experiencing. It was such a God thing that I was asked to come and speak to them this past Wednesday night. *Notice that Wednesday was the one day this past week that I was not feeling strong side effects of being sick, wasn't running fever, and was able to work.. is our God not awesome?* Wednesday all I kept getting from the Lord to share about was "I'm Daddy God, share about me"... honestly God that's a very wide spectrum, to just talk about You, but okay... so I went and I just talked. I talked about the heart of my Father. The heart of my Daddy. How He loves me adn cares about me... I shared stories of supernatural protection, healing, guidance, and love... I talked to them about sharing the love of their Daddy with others. It was just a night praising my Daddy for being Daddy. I wasn't sure what God wanted to accomplish, but kids flocked the alter. 10 KIDS GOT SAVED... several others came up for prayer to renew passion and relationship with Him.. several came up to pray for friends and family members to know Him... I'm so glad that I could help kids know who God is, I'm so thankful for the opportunity to indroduce them to Him. In the midst of my own sickness, confusion, disappointment, weariness, God healed, He talked, He spoke, He met with His children, and He reminded me of who He is to me and why I serve Him. I won't lie I'm tearing up writing this now because His grace and love and mercy so melts my heart. While I struggled, while I doubted, while I was hurting... He gave a message, He spoke a message through me, that needed to be heard by me and He used it to bring children to Him... That's my Daddy.
Today is Mother's Day. I just want to give a shout to the mommy's out there. I have one of the best mom's in the world who has never stopped telling me that I can DO ANYTHING... literally anything. Ususally to the point of annoying me (lol) my mom thanks I can do anything I want. She believes if I want to travel and preach I can be a Joyce Meyers, if I want to write then I can write 1,000 best sellers, If i want to be a wife/mom then I'll be the best wife/mom in the world, whatever I want to do my mom truly believes I'll be the best at it. She's awesome that way.
I've also had several 2nd mother's in my life. Women who have literally taken me in bought my dinners, prayed over me, cried with me, loved on me, kissed my cheeks, and believed in me. These women have poured into my life to teach me how to be a woman of God who is a loving and caring wife/mom one day.
I can't wait for the day that I get to be a Proverbs 31 wife/mother. I believe in praying for my husband/children now, learning and soaking from wiser/older women, so that when it comes time for me to be a wife and a Mom I've listened and learned from those who are more experienced than me. Thanks mothers...
I know your eyes probably burn, but thanks for continually loving and supporting me.