Sometimes things are going smooth and I feel like I've got things running on a well planned schedule. I have worked hard over the last year to get my life organized with some sort of discipline. Then there are times like today. Remember it’s only Tuesday of this week.
I woke up this morning at 4 and was supposed to go run at 4:15, but I was tired and decided to just put on worship music and lay in bed an few extra minutes. As I climbed out of bed I stepped on the hangers I had set in my floor yesterday to remind me to hang up my clothes before I went to bed (which I didn’t do). I aggravatingly noticed that I had left my clothes I had worn at the foot of my bed along with some tags from new clothes I’d bought which I guess I’d decided not to put in the trash can when I removed them. I went into my living room to see my bag and jacket in the middle of the floor, where I’d left them when I came in tired last night. My phone was showing that it was going to die because I had carelessly left my charger in my office and wasn’t able to charge it.
I came to my office to get work started and sit down for some time with the Lord and I realized that I had forgotten, last night after our games, to switch the athletic workout clothes from the washer to the dryer so the clothes smelled horrendous and practice was in an hour. I worked on that and came in with less time than desirable to spend with the Lord. I prayed for about 15 minutes and read for about 10 minutes when a student came in and another and another having various questions, so I only got to spend that 25 minutes. (I guess it was a good thing I’d spent some extra time in worship earlier in the morning). I went to get my vitamins for the day and realized that I had ran out and forgotten to go get more. Later I checked my bank account (I do this every Tuesday) and I had more money in my account than what my checkbook said I should, that was because I realized I’d taken out my car payment, but forgotten to get online and pay it (It’s due tomorrow)! ... I think you’re getting the point.
Well, that’s how this morning started off. It hasn’t been disciplined in the areas of spending time with God, responsibility, cleanliness, exercise, or being healthy and taking care of my body. There have already been points of laziness and agitation and still yet a remarkable thing is true.
God still loves me. God is not mad or frustrated or yelling from the heavens for me to get my life in order. Okay maybe He is telling me to get my life in order, but He’s not mad :) LOL.
The truth is that behind the scenes and under the surface of every person is more than we know about. There are thoughts, actions, experiences, that we don’t know about that person. There are more times that I don’t have it together, more times that I sin, more times that I think things I shouldn’t, get frustrated when I shouldn’t, sleep later than I should, don’t keep things as clean as I should, don’t intercede and pray as much as I should, etc. . . and yet my Daddy God loves me.
He loves me in my imperfections. He loves me through my times of irresponsibility. He loves me well knowing all the faults that no one else sees. What a loving Father I have.
Don’t feel guilty or condemned when you miss it, repent, change, and move on.
This afternoon I’ll pay my car note, tonight I will go home and hang up my clothes and spend extra time in the Word and prayer, tomorrow morning I’ll get up for my run and I’ll go buy more vitamins. It’s not about the mistakes we make it’s about our willingness to repent and change.