Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden upon the LORD and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.1 Peter 5:7 casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.
I'm sure we've all had those times when the pastor was speaking and you felt it so strongly inside "THIS IS FOR YOU". I spent the majority of the message trying to convince the Holy Spirit that this clearly could not be about me. I pulled out my little checklist (mentally) of how I "come" everyday multiple times a day. Arguing with the Holy Spirit never ends well for me. It's sort of like arguing quantum physics with Einstein, trying to tell Nolan Ryan how to throw a fast ball, or convincing Ben Carson (a famous surgeon) to allow me to operate on one of his patients. Unqualified, unknowledgeable me, trying to convince the God of the universe that I know what I really need, what I really have, and where I really am.... ABSURD!
As soon as the alter call was made I obediently hustled my rear end to the alter and simply said "okay I'm here, I came". I spent the next twenty or so minutes in tears as I truly felt the presence of God. He was asking me to be free.
For a few weeks pressures, tests, trials, temptations alike have come at what feels like an extremely fast rate in full force. Many times I've felt overwhelmed trying to simply keep everything in balance. Then as I spent time in prayer, bible study, etc I was not feeling a release of pressure, a release of frustration, which JUST FRUSTRATED ME MORE. Wednesday night at the alter I broke and Thursday I felt like I was back in the same place, with no change.
It sort of reminds me of that old song by Casting Crowns "The Alter and the Door". I haven't heard that song in ages, but I remember a piece from it. He says how can I be sure I will not lose my follow through between the alter and the door. I'm trying so hard to stop trying so hard... In my mind I felt like I was doing all I could possibly do. I was speaking, confessing, declaring, in the Word, in prayer, etc. I was searching mentally for what else I COULD DO to fix this frustration and exhaustion.
Friday someone was telling me about a John Bevere series they had been listening to. He had said to take those cares in your hands, to name them out, and to say okay God I give them to you.
I have spent three weeks being honestly just pretty warn out, pretty tired, and frustrated looking for some REST. I've spent time in worship, I've spent time in prayer, I've spent time in the Word, I've tried to just sit in the presence of God to be refreshed, I KEPT TRYING SO HARD... to stop feeling frustrated. When all I really needed to do was go crawl in Daddy God's lap and voice my cares and give them to Him.
I needed to name out my frustrations, name out my disappointments, name out my struggles, name out my confusion, even name out the areas I felt as though I was horrendously failing. As I named them out one by one and began to "cast them" rest began to come.
I've always said that I love the disciple John the most because I love his relationship with Jesus. As a teenager newly saved I decided that is the type of relationship I would have with Him. I would crawl into Jesus lap and lay my head down to hear Him, to spend time with Him, to enjoy Him, to talk to Him as I talk to my best friend. I remember reading that God would go talk to Moses' as if He were talking to a friend and I would tell God that He was welcome to come speak to me that way. I read about David whose "One Thing" that He desired was to dwell in the courts of the Lord. I identified with these men of God and set forth in a relationship of INTIMACY with God. When people would ask why I was so laid back it was easy for me to reply "Love God and Live Life" then you don't have to get stressed, frustrated, disappointed, just live in love with Him and trusting Him.
The truth is that we often times lose this intimacy as jobs come, busyness, let downs, time constraints, as works based mentality creeps in due to society's messed up systems. God wasn't looking over His checklist to see if I'd done everything to deserve freedom, He was waiting for me to "come" to "cast my cares" and then I would be free.
Don't forget that He's Daddy. Be Blessed, J. Tate