Okay... Picture it. I'm in the fetal position on the floor, snot wiped on everything within a 3ft vicinity, crying my eyes out, and trying to catch my breath when... Yea, okay, so it really wasn't that bad. Hit delete on that mental picture. But the truth is, I did not want to go.
After about six weeks with some of the most wretched and hard days of my life, bruised, hurt, insecure, and battling (some due to me punching myself) in a whirlwind of undealt with mindsets, emotions, and attacks, I have, at least for the last week, been on the breakthrough side of this tough time. Relishing in finally feeling free (great alliteration there) I did not want to go see a counselor and stir up junk that would have been better discussed over a month ago.
On the way, I pondered my opening statement to consist of something like, My name's Jessika. My undergraduate is basically in counseling. I was recently in an active war zone, it was absolute tragic bliss. However, upon my return it brought things to the surface that were so hidden to me I didn't even know they were there, and after 6 weeks of dealing with demons, flesh, and more, God has done some supernatural surgery, and I am on the mend, so how can we wrap today up quickly?
Great attitude right? Thank God that Holy Spirit is in Starbucks because as I did a little work before my appointment I was sipping my cinnamon dulce latte and reading the Psalms in The Passion Translation when He reminded me that, I still needed this. It's been hard enough to admit that I've had such a rough month, but now as I'm walking in joy, healing, victory, I now have to admit that, I still need some help. Ugh!
You see my spiritual mom always says, "Change isn't change, until you change"
Over the last few days God has been doing some change in me, while speaking to me about my role in change. The truth is I have been changed, I am still changing, and there will always be more change that needs to come, so of course in the first few minutes of my session the counselor says, "God definitely wants things to change, but to be changed, you have to make changes"
Most of us have "talked" a lot about things we want to change. We want to see our society change, our government change, our bodies to change, our relationships to change, but we rarely want to make changes. "Be the change you want to see in the world" -Gandhi
Start today. Partner with Holy Spirit to see positive changes. If you want changes in our society, go mentor someone, give to a family in need, reach out, display love. If you want change in your body, make some healthy eating choices and start exercising. If you want to see change in your circumstances, get in the Word, get some scripture to stand on, and pray. If you want change in your relationships, go over the top to love well, ask for Holy Spirit strategy, and be selfless.
We can partner with Him to usher in change, but it isn't change until we change.
Be Blessed, J. Tate