Today as we drove back to the city I pulled out a book that has been changing my life. "Reduce me toLove" by Joyce Meyer. I picked it up at a book store a month or so ago when my love for people was being challenged in ways it never had been. This book helped me more than words could express, so much so that I'm reading it again. If I don't love, I am nothing. And not just love the way Jessika loves, but love like God loves.
Love that is everything 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says it is. And that love... Isn't easy. It isn't easy when it's not returned, it isn't easy when it's challenged, it isn't easy when your flesh gets involved, it isn't always easy.
So as we drove back I read again about how love never fails, it bears up under all things, but mainly it isn't selfish.
I'm sitting on the roof again in Haiti, overlooking the city, and one of my best friends is at home at the bed side of her dying grandmother. Not only do I love her gma as my own but This friend has been by my side through the hardest times of my life, she always steps up to the plate when I need her, she's always taken my back, when I've been wrong she didn't give up, and even when I wasn't myself she stayed right there supporting me.
As I texted her and her mom I said please tell nonny to wait two more days so I can get one last hug. Her mothers response brought me up to this rooftop to talk to Jesus. "I can't Jess, it's too hard on her"
Love is not self seeking. Love real love, prefers others. Real love is more concerned about someone else's heart other than my own. Real Love knows that I don't get to choose what is easy, what is self gratifying, what feels good. We don't ever get to quit loving because it hurts or it's hard, we don't get to quit loving because of circumstances. Without love, we are nothing.
As I looked out over the hills knowing that I am where God wanted me to be, knowing that I might not get that hug ever, I am reminded of a life changing conversation I had with the missionary here a few nights ago. She looked me in the eyes and said Jess this call and anointing that God put on your life will cost you many things, you have to decide if you're willing to pay the price.
The call tonight isn't about being in Haiti, it's not about preaching the gospel to the nations, it's not about all the various assignments He's given or will give. It's simply about the call of love.
My first call will always be to love and Love is not selfish.
Unselfish love will cause you to fight when you need to fight, let go when you need to let go, and mostly Unselfish Love rejoices as a saint goes home to be with her Savior even if it means we won't hold hands in this lifetime again. love is not selfish.
Reduce me to love Lord. Be blessed, J. Tate