It didn't take too long after returning home from DR-C, an active war zone, to realize that I felt different. I thought that perhaps it was the usual reverse culture shock that most missionaries feel upon returning to Western Civilization. Unfortunately this time, culture shock was coupled with much worse symptoms such as nightmares full of screaming and gunshots, anxiety attacks, depression, and more. It was over a month before a counselor would look me in the face and tell me that I was battling post traumatic stress disorder. "None of the rulers of this age understood it, for if they had, they would not have crucified the Lord of glory." (1 Cor. 2:8)
The enemy honestly did not know what he had gotten himself into by scheming to crucify the Son of God. His attempt to attack the heart of God actually resulted in the completion of God's plan to bring mankind into relationship with Him. The scheme of the enemy to steal, kill, and destroy ultimately was used for redemption.
"Jessika they didn't understand it, for if they had, they would not have attacked you, my Daughter" -Papa God
The enemy plots and schemes to destroy us. He'll tempt you with sin, bait you with wrong patterns of thinking, attack your health and finances, set traps, coax you into finding answers and comfort from the wrong sources, sow discord, all the while patiently waiting for the combustion of trials or even your own sin to usher in a devastating blow that knocks you to the ground.
His hope is that when you're knocked to your knees you'll go ahead and lie down there for a while. All too often this vicious assault against the people of God has resulted in a completely defeated mentality. With his attack, people may partner with emotions and negative thought patterns such as hopelessness, bitterness, anger, unforgiveness, doubt, injustice, revenge, pity, fear, regret, condemnation, shame, anxiety, depression, suicide, and more.
A while back I sat in my bed replaying the words of the Lord in my mind, He began to reveal exactly what He meant by His previous statement. Just as the enemy didn't understand God's nature of redemption, we usually don't either. Throughout scripture we find that as the enemy assaults the people of God, there is a much grander theme of redemption that appears for people of faith. The very attempt of the enemy to crucify the Lord of glory was what God used to redeem mankind. When satan had his fun wrecking havoc on Job's life, Job stepped into faith and forgiveness by praying for his friends, as he did God restored to him DOUBLE what he lost.
It doesn't mean that Job didn't mourn, weep, hurt, and go through an incredibly rough situation. It doesn't mean we won't go through heartache, pain, or loss. However, when these things come we choose what we partner with. We can partner with the defeat of the enemy or the hope and redemption of our Father.
The Lord is saying to His people, if the enemy knew what I was going to do to redeem and restore your situation HE NEVER WOULD HAVE MESSED WITH YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!
Sometimes we take the bait of satan, and our situation in many ways is our own fault. We make mistakes that led us into trying situations. Other times it's simply the nature of the enemy to inflict sickness and steal from the people of God. We get brought into situation completely out of our control. No matter what got you into the situation that you're in God says, "MY REDEMPTIVE NATURE IS SO STRONG that the enemy will actually REGRET ever tempting and attacking you!"
When we come into an understanding of the redemptive nature of the Father then we truly are able to rejoice in our trials because we KNOW that in the end God will have the last say. When we understand this about His nature we don't have to stay under shame or guilt because we understand the power of the blood of Jesus Christ's redemption on our lives.
I share this little glimpse into my life with a prayer that you will see Truth and be set free from regret, fear, a victim mindset, anxiety, doubt, hopelessness or any of these type of negative patterns. Redemption and restoration doesn't happen overnight so don't get discouraged! Each week I've seen a little more healing, a little more freedom, a little more redemption. I write this blog after months of battling PTSD, heartache, struggle, disappointment, failure, anxiety, and other issues, but at the same time starting to see God's plan for redemption. Just this past week I have prayed for 5 people who have been battling anxiety and depression issues, each person experiencing God's peace and healing. I know this is just the beginning! Your struggle will be used for someone else's BREAKTHROUGH! Step into freedom today. Repent, forgive others, run to perfect Love, and jump back into faith and hope. God's redemption for your life will prevail.
Be Blessed, J. Tate